Thoughts on Being Inspired
That exhilarated feeling is why I started making movies. But today, I was thinking about how making a great movie doesn't give you the same inspired, exhilarated feeling that seeing a great movie gives you.
It just can't. You can't make art in a vacuum. You need other artists to inspire you. And, of course, I can hope to make a movie that is good enough to inspire someone else. But the feeling one gets from the actual making of the film simply isn't the same as the inspiration one derives from seeing great art.
There is a feeling of accomplishment, to be sure, but it's more of an ambiguous sense of maybe having done something well (even if you're never exactly certain of that fact). The experience of the film as art eludes the maker, I think. Or, at least, it always has eluded me with regard to my own films.
I suppose, after many years, when the details of a film have been more or less forgotten by the filmmaker, he or she could have an experience of it as a work of art. But even then, I'm not sure it's possible, because while details might have been forgotten, the experience of rewatching the film would immediately call to mind the experience of making it.
And that's the gist of the problem, I imagine -- a filmmaker cannot separate the experience of the film from the making of it.
So I'm left with a realization that should have been obvious: even if I can make great art (and I'm not saying that I can or have), I can never experience my own work as great art. That strikes me as... not sad, but perhaps disappointing.
Just some random thoughts.